You will be so proud of me. Since we just learned that our State Assessments are going to be even longer and more difficult, I decided to add a new component to my otherwise test prep-oriented teaching world. Of course, I will transform formerly dull, failing scores into shiny, passing ones. But, just in case that doesn’t pan out, Plan B awaits.
So today, I stepped it up at work–I started career grooming a couple of students in earnest. Their future, world-competitive occupation? Perfume snipers! Inspired, I know. I can’t take full credit for this, truth be told. I can, however, take credit for the vision needed to see their hijinx as a veritable job aptitude survey!
Behold the magic–while at specials, the girl in question (let’s call her Xena), produced a sprayable fragrance from I-don’t-want-to-know-where and took aim at the boy in question (we’ll call him Jethro), effectively emasculating him and rendering him unable to carry out any guyish pursuit he may have planned for the day. But that Jethro! What a self-starter! He responded with retaliatory spray from his own cleverly concealed cologne cannon, even whilst smelling like a girl! After which he categorically denied any involvement–until it was discovered that he carries his cologne in his shoe, which is a terrific sniper thing to do, as far as I am concerned. What are the odds of having two future perfume snipers in one class? Talk about gifted and talented. Xena and Jethro may not be able to determine the theme of a realistic fiction passage, or read the word “unfathomable,” but they can hide and spray fragrance, dammit! And I, for one, applaud them. Who says they will wind up flipping burgers? I see a much sweeter future for them, with light floral undertones.