For realsies

Teacher Depreciation Day! May 9, 2012

This phenomenon is real.  I remember other Teacher Appreciation Days which were marked by breakfasts, scented candles, coffee mugs and the like.  Today, there was a three page memo of George Schultz’ musings on teachers, accompanied by a microscopic chocolate treat that one required a miner’s lamp to locate in the mailbox.  I, for one, was of course crossing my fingers in the hopes of receiving SOME kind of lengthy memo, so that was a relief. . .

I don’t mean to be ungrateful.  I guess that it should be no surprise that our Teacher Appreciation is also linked like an iron vise to our state test scores.  If our students were passing, we would perhaps once again return to the glory days of finding a full-size candy bar in our mailboxes.  At one point today, I became painfully aware of the contrast between today’s reminders that I am, in fact, depreciating at an alarming rate, and what I might experience in a different setting.  Why I allow such thoughts to creep in, I cannot say. It is masochism fo sho.  It’s the Stay- Puft Marshmallow Man for Ray in Ghostbusters–it just popped in there. Choose the destructor!  I pictured, just for a moment, a squeaky-clean, polite little suburban waif, handing me a gift basket of assorted, super clever and useful items (including a gift card for anything–oh, sweet, sweet gift cards) in a themed tote that cost more than my shoes.

“Shut up or I’ll punch you in the face!” “Your mama.” “Say it to my face.” “Do it!”

And in that moment,  I snap it back, defuse the would-be fistfight, and start to make my mental shopping list for everything I need to buy for the classroom tonight: tissues, hand sanitizer,  pencils, goodies for my prize box.




8 Responses to “Teacher Depreciation Day!”

  1. rackofribs Says:

    You got a microscopic chocolate? Lucky! I got a lot of lip, some eye-rolls and a headache. And then I went out and bought myself a bag of Hershey’s miniatures because I am the keymaster. Are you the gatekeeper?

  2. […] Teacher Appreciation Day at Staples and got my cute little tote and my FREE one subject notebook.  Teacher Depreciation Day came to mind. The manager was apologetic about having to “deliver the message” about […]

  3. peachyteachy Says:

    Reblogged this on peachyteachy and commented:

    Oh, the comforting monotony of predictable teacher appreciation gestures.
    This year, an unannounced tub of melted ice cream planted in the Teacher Lounge. Appreciation or potential terrorism?
    This year, no chocolate to be found (unless they hijacked the bowl set up by the financial planner salesmen who were also planted in the Teacher Lounge. . .). Excuse me while I bask in the glow of my post-Teacher Appreciation Day weekend. This reblog is last year’s update. Or downdate, at this point, I guess.

    • Katie Says:

      I have a faculty of 70+ teachers, all of whom are über appreciated. Fo sho. I wish, oh how I wish, that our little cherubs would gift them fabulous items like gift cards and chocolate covered strawberries. Instead, half used bottles of perfume, horrifying homemade concoctions, and OMG–is that your mother’s wedding ring????

      So, it’s up to me and the Principal. It’s just so freaking expensive to give them stuff. Stuff that maybe they want. We work for months on donations, begging parents, PTO, etc. This year we delivered slices of cake one day, bagels for breakfast one day, PTO catered Italian for lunch, and I think there was a tiny, itty-bitty piece of chocolate in there somewhere. We failed, didn’t we? I did write a personal thank you card to each and every person. Sporting an excellent blister from that. Just sucks to under appreciate people you actually appreciate just because you can’t afford the larger chocolates. Bummer.

      • peachyteachy Says:

        I love that you actually did go to the trouble of writing the cards. It isn’t so much about the stuff (although it’s fun to write about it), but about an overarching negative message that our building has toiled under for several years now. We are reminded on a very regular basis of the exact percentage points that our grade dropped last year on the state test (1.7) and how that was the reason that the school did not make adequate yearly progress. That’s rough. But I appreciate you!

      • Katie Says:

        Yeah, we grew last year by leaps and bounds, but failed to meet AYP as well. Sucks to say “Way to go! Didn’t matter, but Way to Go!” Um, whatever.

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