I could spend a full forty hour workweek laboring to coax my hair to do any of what is going on in this shot. And on Friday, it would revert back to its natural state (complete with price tag, as below):
This level of devotion to hair is actually quite commonplace among my students, strangely enough. It is considered a medical necessity to take entire school days off in order to attend to one’s weave. I am not even opposed to the concept of the “mental health day,” and perhaps I should chalk it up to that. However, since the vast majority of my students are academically well below their actual grade level, it is a bit tougher to deal with a missed instructional day in the name of hair illness. Especially since I end up sweeping up long clumps of fake hair from the classroom floor as the day approaches when my scholar shows up sporting her original, non-Diana Ross length hair. I’m used to critters, though! See La Cucaracha en La Clase.
Which reminds me of Pinterest. One of the recent strokes of genius disseminated to the masses involves a miraculous, DIY formula which promises to smooth the tresses of any doll whose hair has been compromised through excessive washing, playing, or pet chewing. So, theoretically, we could go from Messy Bun chick to Straight Red Hair model girl with minimal (and affordable) intervention. Or, by the time the doll would finally resemble my childhood hairdo and make me feel at one with a popular toy, it would all end in sleek, flowing locks being restored by yet another miracle concoction that contains Dawn dishwashing liquid. The enemy of grease, and now, crazy hair. Oh, the cruel irony that it only works on fake hair!
Truthfully, I made peace with the curvy stuff that is my hair long before the flat iron came on the scene. It is what it is. Every several years, the unconstructed messy hair thing becomes trendy for twelve minutes. It’s exhausting, the paparazzi and all.