For realsies

Uninvited Guests—and I Don’t Mean Insects November 14, 2012

Tomorrow marks round two of parent-teacher conferences!  My goal is to have even more parents show up than I had last week! You may be dusting off the Teacher of the Year trophy, but don’t get too excited.  I had exactly one live parent show up last week.  I’m feeling pretty confident, considering the fact that I will have even more time tomorrow, including evening hours.

On another “It’s super to be a teacher” note, sometimes we run into former students.  It’s heartwarming, often. Less frequently, it’s a little bit terrifying.  For instance, when you are out in the neighborhood, walking the dog with the kid, and you hear someone saying your name, a la “I know that not Ms. Peachy! I know that not Ms. Peachy!” At this point, conversation is unavoidable. In your own neighborhood. And when you realize that the kid is a student who had frequented the office and some alternative “programs” due to years-long history of crazy violent behavior, that’s an extra special moment.  But not the most special moment.

The MOST special moment is the next day when someone knocks on  your door, and it’s–you guessed it– the kid.  Asking to play with your much younger kid, and listing video games that he wonders whether your kid plays. Def Blood? Ultimate Murder 2013? “Ummm, no, I don’t let him play violent games.” This, I say out loud, while my interior monologue goes something like this, “HELL, no, my son cannot come out and play with you, nor will he EVER be allowed to be inside any house to play any video game with you. And who the hell told you which house I live in, and you are a suspected sociopath, so, hey, it’s so nice to see you, but BUH-BYE!” I have decided that, if he pops in again, I will confide in him that I am a witch, and ask him if he would like to learn some spells.  If he says yes, I will go all crazy-eyed and let go a cackle, and offer him some mealworms for a snack.

It’s good to have a plan.


4 Responses to “Uninvited Guests—and I Don’t Mean Insects”

  1. If you want parents to show up, just offer free alcohol at the meetings.

  2. javaj240 Says:

    Yikes! I actually got goosebumps from that story. Really.

  3. UndercoverL Says:

    That is exactly what is wrong with kids these days! Parent-teacher conferences are three times a year, MAX! Get an hour off work to go, people! Take an interest in your kids’ lives! Sheesh! Sorry… I can’t stand absentee parents and I feel like this is the hallmark of parents that leave parenting to teachers who are far too overworked and far too underpaid to be parents, too. Just saying….

  4. OH. MY.GOD. You plucked it all out of my head. Do you need any other explanation of why I don’t teach school any more? Do I have some stories to tell. I’m so glad you visited my blog and I will def be following you, YOU are funny, gurrrll! I know what’s really in that “coffee mug” you carry around with you. ha ha

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