For realsies

Abusing My Readers with Outlawed Topics April 2, 2013

Filed under: blogging,humor — peachyteachy @ 3:34 pm
Tags: , , , ,

Why do I get email from WebMD? Whose brilliant idea was that? Apparently, it was that of the same person who reads those emails late at night, when browsing WebMD is tantamount to watching “Friday the 13th”—except I would NEVER subject myself to that craziness!

As an email hoarder with an ever-expanding-capacity inbox containing over 16,000 unread emails, the urgency of cleaning up the thing really doesn’t hold much sway.  Let’s just sweep up all those emails from Pizza Hut.  There! Only 15, 996! It’s just silly. So, screw it.  Sorting through the piles of physical, paper mail seems a much more worthwhile, if lightly nauseating, task.

Oh, hell. I have exceeded the 100-word limit for writing about email.  The shame! I will stop.  Someone whose post I read in Freshly Pressed recently decreed (or implied a decree) that such topic-ry was redundant, dull, and borderline abusive to one’s poor, poor readers.  It rests somewhere between excerpts from one’s spam folder and Dear Universe posts.

In my quest to achieve the endurance record of longest running never-pressed blog (fresh or otherwise), you may know that I have waded in the no-no waters before. I have ignored  The Funny Rules and practiced abysmal Twitter.  I don’t tag nearly as thoroughly as some of my fellow bloggers.

I am left begging for forgiveness, and promising that I will not ever describe the loss of the umbilical cord of either of my children.  Mostly because I have forgotten.



23 Responses to “Abusing My Readers with Outlawed Topics”

  1. rossmurray1 Says:

    You’re so untrendy you’re trendy!

  2. UndercoverL Says:

    I WebMD’d my daughters symptomatic rash yesterday found out it may (or may not) be dermatitis. So, for kicks and giggles, I WebMD’d my migraine symptoms. Apparently, I either have Down’s Syndrome or Cerebral Palsy (both of which would be immensely surprising given that I only developed symptoms of these disorders in the last 7 years and I am 32). I also may be having transient ischemic attacks. I feel so relieved and confused at the same time. I also think WebMD is full of s**t.

    If I owned your inbox, I would abandon ship. I did that with my Yahoo account. As soon as I started getting more emails for Viagra than I did from friends, I got a Google account and only gave that email out to real-life people that I want to talk to.

  3. rebecca2000 Says:

    You make uncool cool. 😉 I would love for you to get pressed.

  4. jsboogiev11 Says:

    I don’t follow the rules either, but I don’t care! People should write about whatever they want on their blog. I don’t stick to a specific topic on my blog. Sometimes I write about sports, sometimes I write about teaching, and sometimes I just post a music video I like and say a few words about it. I enjoy writing and know that even if only one person enjoys what I put out there, that’s cool! And I like what you write! Thanks for your blog.

  5. Katie Says:

    16,000? That’s impressive. Very impressive. Is there no “delete all” button? Only I strongly advise against it, because the first one you delete will be one that you needed. That’s how it works. I also think (as if you asked for my opinion) that having 16,000 is vastly interesting, even unusual, and merits blogging about. I read it, and I don’t have time for cr@p.

  6. I believe in never following the “rules”….it makes life too boring! Were you gently hinting to me that I shouldn’t have wrote the belly button piece??? Too much??? haha!!

  7. WSW Says:

    I get emails from truss catalogues and incontinence product floggers. Could be worse.

  8. javaj240 Says:

    It’s your blog. You can break the rules if you want to! (I just KNOW you have read this to the tune of “It’s My Party”).

    At the risk of biting the hand that has fed me a couple of hundred followers (some of whom actually read my blog), being Freshly Pressed is nice, but it may be overrated. I suppose it’s something to shoot for, but it’s not the end all be all. Take the hair dye post that I wrote — it’s not bad, not my best, I don’t think. Certainly nowhere near as good as the post I am most proud of — “Accepting Forgiveness”, which was published 24 hours later than the one chosen by FP. I’ll never get why they chose the hair dye post over that one.

    In terms of the spam, email, Dear Universe posts, I have this to say: if you have something to add to that genre that means something to you, write it! Personally, I loved your post about breaking the humor rules!

    P.S. I have over 6,000 emails in my inbox. It’s shameful, really. Can you imagine the amount of snail mail I used to have to slog through? No wonder my hovel was due for a purge!

  9. peachyteachy Says:

    I really do try to allow myself a lot of leeway when it comes to topics–hence, it’s not a “Teacher Blog.” It is curious, how the choices of the FP minions may not even be representative of what we would deem our best work. But I guess that’s the nature of the beast. Love my little WP community.

  10. hilarious. Followed a link to your blog at

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