For realsies

Earth Day, Schmearth Day April 17, 2013

Oh, had you been laboring under the impression that elementary school children in the U.S. of A. are learning all about how to “go green,” creating elaborate action plans and raising copious funds  for the saving of the Costa Rican rain forest, or at the very least for picking up some trash at their schools?

That is freaking ADORABLE!

Because, no.

That was when I was a kid.  That ship has sailed. Far, far away across the ocean sea.

For many of our would-be Greenpeace Rainbow warriors, Earth day will be spent in pursuit of the coveted “College and Career Readiness,” in the form of more tests.

I apologize to those of you who are tired of hearing about it. I assure you, I am tireder than you are. And my students have pretty much decided that they are not interested in becoming “College and Career Ready,” if it has any connection whatsoever to the grueling experience of taking day after day of test after test that makes them feel like utter failures. If the goal is to cement urban kids’ plans for an early dropout date, MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!

I heard a rumor that, in one room, a proctor suggested  to the teacher, in a whisper, that it would be funny if the fire alarm went off and we had to evacuate the building.  The rumor goes that the teacher replied that it would be funnier if the school burned down. Right then and there.

That’s probably inappropriate.  I should confront that teacher, huh? Maybe turn them in to the branch of state government called Exam Security Team, which is modeled after Hitler’s gestapo, but with a lower fitness level and none of the swagger.

I’m off to consult my ethics manual!

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7 Responses to “Earth Day, Schmearth Day”

  1. Just had a convo with another teach who was getting her hair done same time as me, and she was counting the days, hours, minutes, seconds until not only the end of this school year but until she could retire. Now that’s what I’m talking about!

  2. seeker Says:

    I hope what the teacher said was just a rumor and nothing else.

  3. Katie Says:

    How many trees do you reckon will we sacrifice to the testing gods this Earth Day? We had a comprehensive discussion at our training this week, all about “emergencies” like power outages and fires. One misguided teachers said, “Screw safety! I’m getting those tests out of the building because I am NOT doing this testing sh-t again!”

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