For realsies

Sweat = Learning May 23, 2013

Filed under: education,humor,school,teaching — peachyteachy @ 5:44 pm

This is from a year ago. And from today.

News flash from my classroom today: “It’s hot!” Not like the kind of hot that means cool or sexy.  The kind of whiny, extended short o comment that implies that, as a teacher, I should be able to distribute ice packs and personal fans to each and every smelly tween that occupies the rice cooker that was my classroom today.  Barring that, I should at the very least allow the whiniest and most obnoxious student a coveted chair in front of the rattling box fan while everyone else drips in silence.

On days like this, I become Teacher of the Year, submitting in my T o’ Y e-portfolio footage of myself responding to these surprising “it’s so hot” revelations with insights like, “Boys and girls, raise your hand if you were unaware of the fact that it is hot in the classroom today,” and the ultimate I-want-my-kid-in-HER-class response: “Thank you, Captain Obvious.”  I’m sorry. But at these temperatures and dewpoints, the sarcasm loses its solid consistency, melts, and just drips on out. “Eustachia,” I hear myself saying, “Let me get this straight. So, you’re saying —basically—-that you have noticed that today, our classroom—this room—it is—how did you put it? It is—- HOT?”

Did I mention that I am sick? As a result of this, there were certain points when I was pretty sure that my brain had reached the official “poached” status as defined by the Joy of Cooking, and my eyeballs weren’t far behind.  Everyone wanted to go to the handful of destinations in our building that boast air-conditioned nirvana: the main office, the library (picture big-eyed children imploring me to let them return books). And, of course, the nurse’s office. See previous post  for a perspective on how much booze I need to buy our school nurse to make up for the Urgent Care Express that my students call home. I’m the one who should have assigned everyone to make a BFF club sign while I went down and stretched out on a cot.

It would be silly and trivial of me to ask for prayers that tomorrow we may be blessed with a consistency less that of a molded Jello salad and more that of an Arctic hare.  I am more than capable of striking deals with the Universe on my own up in here.

But perhaps we could take the tiniest moment to picture together, one perfect, glistening snowflake?  Aaaah.



6 Responses to “Sweat = Learning”

  1. speaker7 Says:

    I’m lucky. I’m in the luxuriant air-conditioned library, but that is soon to be inaccessible due to asbestos issues and I likely will be one of those people who state the obvious…”wow did you realize it’s stifling in here?”

  2. Katie Says:

    Got into an actual altercation with pathetic little man from HVAC dept. today.

    Me: Half the building with no AC for how long???

    Little Man: Ma’am, the unit is from 1972…we have to order the part….

    Me: Sir, you had better get on the phone with your supervisor, because there is NO WAY I’m facing those teachers, who just got their scores today, and telling them the freaking unit is older than I am and will not be repaired this year. No freaking way.

    I lost. They won’t even bring us fans. Pathetic. How many days till summer?

    • peachyteachy Says:

      Our district made us take out AC units that we brought from home, and the only fans we will ever see are also ones that we bought. I think your climate is worse though—pure crazy.

  3. It was very hot in my office today because my boss turned off the air con. She was feeling cold. I was feeling homicidal.

Leave a Reply to peachyteachy Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s