For realsies

Some “Burgers” Should Never Be Made October 3, 2013



This is one of them. 

My son ran across this page in one of my cookbooks.  I probably cooked these evil morsels and wrote this upwards of ten years ago.  These are the very notes I added on that fateful day.   I resented this recipe for a long, long time.  But perhaps this goes without saying. . . As you can see, I was a passionate cook, even then.  

The title, “Hell’s Kitchen” was, it seems clear to me, created due to the existence of this recipe. If, for any reason, you find yourself tempted to Google this recipe and try it, know that this temptation is arising from the bowels of the underworld, and that nothing pure and holy can result.  


Consider yourself forewarned.



16 Responses to “Some “Burgers” Should Never Be Made”

  1. Austin Says:

    Maybe these are best cooked on a grill over Hellfire. 🙂

  2. Amanda Fox Says:

    LOL seriously and just as I’m about to make dinner. It won’t be that.

  3. rossmurray1 Says:

    Those Moosewood people can’t be trusted.

  4. Katie Says:

    Those notes are so you! Honestly, you get what you deserve if you even think mushroom pecan burgers sound at all edible. Burgers are meant to be devilish and sinful and man, I’m hungry. Do you remember if you put cheese on them? Or would that have defeated the yucky, I mean healthy, intentions?

  5. Even though they often taste like bland blobs, a good veggie burger, which I admit is a rare find, can be extremely satisfying. I trust that Satan’s Mushroom Pecan Burgers From Hell tops the list of inedible chow.

  6. UndercoverL Says:

    Can I reblog this on Domestic Disaster Diary? Please?

  7. UndercoverL Says:

    Reblogged this on Domestic Disaster Diary and commented:
    Even teachers make mistakes…

  8. gillandrews Says:

    Oh man, this made me laugh so hard that it hurt! I can totally imagine the state you were in while making these notes. This is exactly how I feel about baking 😀

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