peachyteachy

For realsies

Permission Requested to Sit Out New Year’s Rockin’ Eve December 31, 2013

Filed under: holiday,humor — peachyteachy @ 3:34 pm
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I am looking for at least five souls who are willing to grant me some sort of dispensation by which I may happily skip New Year’s Eve “festivities.”

This is not, truth be told, a departure from my usual celebration: keeping my eyes open until it’s midnight is crazy revelry for this gal.  I’ve just never gone out for New Year’s.  And I am pretty sure that I mean NEVER.  I have been to gatherings at other people’s homes and all, but even that is quite out there.  Fancy pantsing it up? The years have come and gone, with nary a square inch of gold lamé adorning my frame.  And, yeah, there’s a reason that word makes you want to pronounce it “lame.”

I am not even going to buy bubbly this year! *GASP* I have come to terms with the fact that champagne makes my tummy hurt.  I will have a nice glass of wine, and I am planning on making some non-traditional soup and maybe some popovers for dinner.  Perhaps we will break out one of the yet-unopened Christmas games.

Remember Dick Clark and  New Year’s Rockin’ Eve, year after year after year? Me too.  That’s pretty much my perception of New Year’s Eve for me, and that was never really all THAT cool anyway.   The hottest acts were usually one-hit wonders—and super articulate “wooooo”ers, That hasn’t changed much. You KNOW Donna Summer was Miss New Year’s Disco ball back in the day.  That was bad then, and it’s bad now.  It was uncomfortably inspiring, I suppose, to watch Dick in the last few years, valiantly speaking when I imagine he might have appreciated  someone giving him permission to sit the damn thing out.

Only now we have to endure Dick’s mini-me, Ryan Seacrest! Why he hasn’t changed his name to “Dick” by now, one can only guess.  Who do we get to interview this year? Miley Cyrus and Robin Thicke are my psychic predictions and I swear that I have not checked! Ringing them out might not be a bad idea though. . .

It’s almost enough to get one to go out to a party.  Almost.  But that would go against my staycation vibe, and ain’t no one messing with that!

It’s okay, really, if you can’t get around to joining my five-squad of permission givers—I know that you are doing your make-up and yanking on your shapewear while I kick back in my winter uniform of slippers, yoga pants, and warm sweater.  If I don’t get five live ones, I will get the nutcrackers on my side.

Also, Happy New Year.

 

 

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Clamoring masses asked for it—2013 in review

Filed under: birthday party,blogging,holiday,humor — peachyteachy @ 11:37 am
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One of my favorite phrases read recently comes from a post by LameAdventures, where she waxes eloquent about her massive following, calling them “the anemic swarm.” I love that so much that I have fully adopted it as my mental mantra when I think of my own little bunch of readers.  The number grows, slowly and regularly, but most posts draw a comfy crowd of ten or so, preserving my commitment to one day gather my readers in a Wendy’s restaurant.  In Hawaii.

The most useful feature of WordPress’ handy-dandy report was that it made me click on my most-viewed post, only to find that my very own photo had been removed.  Sad, as that post, Teacher vs. Wild, was short on words and long on student “work.” So I fixed it.  Just for you.

It’s always great to see that a mediocre post like The Perfect My Little Pony Party, about throwing the perfectly ironic party for my 20-year-old son, still gets lots of views by earnest moms searching through Pinterest to plan impressive galas for their four-year-old daughters.

Thanks, WordPress, for the New Year’s Resolution inspirations, too!

The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2013 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A San Francisco cable car holds 60 people. This blog was viewed about 3,500 times in 2013. If it were a cable car, it would take about 58 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

 

Fa-La-La-La-Loss December 28, 2013

Filed under: humor,inspiration,life,parenting — peachyteachy @ 9:02 pm
Tags: ,

This year, the holidays giveth, and the holidays taketh away.

It is not as if I invented this phenomenon; so many forms of loss take no vacations during the holiday season.  People die, people leave, people fall short of expectations.  And then we are stuck with those loss memories during the holidays for the rest of time.

For the Peachy household, this was the year that the recent college graduate got a job in a big city, and left the day after Christmas.  Proud? Yes! Excited for him? Yes!

Heartbroken? That too.  This is it.  This is IT.  We had settled into the “I have a kid at college” routine, where we looked forward to those extended breaks, and had a period of sadness after the return to school.

Then, after graduation, we had an extended period of transition—a lovely time, in many ways—one that would, arguably, have festered after a time into something far less desirable.  But, as it was, not bad at all, especially for little brother.

I have this weird guilt about the fact that my chance to be the perfect parent has just expired.  The most foolish of aspirations, haunting me.  He brought a package of tempera paints over from cleaning his room at his dad’s house.  I bought those paints when he was little.  Clearly, we didn’t paint enough.   He’ll probably bring that to therapy.  Or, worse, to some future girlfriend.  She’ll breezily break out a whimsical art project, and he will confide in her the insecurities born of those early non-tempera painting projects. “Even though the paint was there all the time!”

At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how proud and excited you are for your kid.  It’s your baby and, at some level,  your heart will never know how to let go.  You cry. You watch sit-coms. You research gourmet food stores near their new apartment.

Happy Holidays.

 

 

Taking One For the Team December 17, 2013

Filed under: humor,life,school,teaching — peachyteachy @ 7:18 pm
Tags: , , ,

Yes, well, sometimes, state departments of education decide to visit  low-performing  schools the week before Christmas break.  For three days.  A team swoops in and observes classrooms with the expectation that the teachers and students will be demonstrating best practice and best  behavior and best planning and best data whoring.

On a full moon.

Which is a naive myth to all of you superior people who have never been responsible for a pack of twenty-to-thirty younglings for six to seven hours a day.  Children teach one the ways of the moon, my friend.  I’m sorry for calling you superior. There’s too much superiority hovering around these days; I’m starting to see it where it doesn’t dwell.

Don’t imagine that any of these days before Christmas will include any moment of special holiday preparation, or story or, heaven forbid, crafts!  No.  The children will complete unit assessments in both reading and writing. Please bring me to litigation if I am off the mark when I say that I cherish the sweet treasures brought home from school  by my babies —and that I do not give a rat’s ass about the score they received on some unit test.

Never mind all of that.  Take a walk into my classroom today,  after lunch (translation: the witching hour).  Sitting comfortably in my desk chair (which is probably infested with bedbugs) is a representative of a state department of education.  Unfolding before him is a veritable three ring circus of children who have apparently been given cappuccino for lunch, if you go by the calling out, falling out of chairs, and approaching the teacher to complain of various medical maladies. It is a perfect storm of we-took-a-test-it’s-almost-Christmas-break-the-moon-is-full-phonics-is-only-good-if-you-yell-it.

The problem is that, in these situations, you can’t crack the whip the way you would normally. You are trying to use all the positive strategies to turn the craziness around, when in fact they need their fearless leader to yell the hell out of it for a minute. Instead, it was as if Ozzy Osbourne had inhabited my class.   You can bet that when that state dude left, it was not pretty.

My only comfort is the thought that I made the rest of my teammates look really good in comparison. As for me, this would be an optimum time for the Megamillions to smile on down on Peachyteachy.  Today, all I want to do is stay home and bake.

image: http://www.farmersalmanac.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/05/do-full-moons-make-people-crazy-12157.jpg

 

Stuff That Feels Like Christmas to Me December 13, 2013

This plastic church. It played “Silent Night.”

These angel chimes.  When I was little, I would watch and listen to the angel chimes while gazing out of the big front window of my grandparents’ house on the bluff.  I could see all the lights down in the harbor from there.  It was magical.

This tree–a white pine, where I found a bird’s nest, the first Christmas after my mother died (I added the birds). I always have to find a white pine, because we always cut one down from the “back forty” when I was growing up.

This year, I have a fat old white pine.  I tried to bring it in, but the water in its bucket had frozen.  And so, I patiently wait.

Image: http://thumbs1.ebaystatic.com/d/l225/m/mq4JuTFX97NTmDn4ilAryBQ.jpg

 

 

Laws of Science Shattered by Peachyteachy! December 11, 2013

 

Oh, the splendor of blogging.  I’m sure you agree.

But did you realize that blogging defies the laws of time and space? WHAAAAAT? Get Neil deGrassi Tyson on the line!

All true.

Because, guess what? I have exactly one viewer today.  And that viewer is from Canada (I love me some Canada)! But, here’s the coolness: that viewer, according to my scientific stats on Scientific Stat Central WordPress Keeping Track 0’Stuff 3000, is also from SWITZERLAND!!!!!

Dual citizenship is the best I can make of it, without getting into visions of blog readers being torn asunder limb from limb in order to inhabit Canada and Switzerland simultaneously. All in all, though, it strikes me as a message of unity and a reminder of Swiss Cheese, Swiss Miss, the Swiss Alps, poutine, and conflicted French language issues, all rolled into a seasonal basket from Swiss Canada Colony.

In a largely unrelated note, could someone please inform the overly friendly folks over at cox.net that I am not a dude? My junk mail folder runneth over with very sub-Neil deGrassi Tyson subject lines.

Arguably, this strange and miniscule demographic phenomenon has something to do with my continued proud standing:

image: https://www.google.com/url?sa=i&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=images&cd=&cad=rja&docid=94-wdVqHX49D8M&tbnid=IMzzfiaQyDA8EM:&ved=0CAUQjRw&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.businessinsider.com%2Fneil-degrasse-tyson-star-trek-2013-5&ei=yOuoUq-9CI3rkQfY74CIAQ&bvm=bv.57799294,d.eW0&psig=AFQjCNEMV2MsQjegrnphTs7UrB7vPGP-NA&ust=1386888504089590

 

Lennon Wrecked Me for Conservatism December 8, 2013

Filed under: history,music,Uncategorized — peachyteachy @ 5:52 pm
Tags: ,

This day doesn’t pass without a bit of recognition from me.

peachyteachy

Does it count as history that John Lennon was shot on this date in 1980?  It does for me.

I was a bit young to catch the first wave of Beatlemania, so I was not part of any grieving masses at my school that day.  It was as if nobody even knew that something earthshaking had happened, that a huge voice had been silenced.

So Lennon died, and Reagan was elected.  Soon it became so much cooler to care about money than about peace.  Love? Pshaw! The domain of the naïve. I know that people love to hail Reagan as this icon of American-ness, but I always got knots in my stomach when he would speak. I’ve never really gotten over it, although lots of peers have morphed into staunch conservatism.

I’ve had to apply for a couple of forms of public assistance in my adult life.  For a lot of that time…

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