For realsies

Northeastern Easter Fashion Report April 22, 2014

Filed under: fashion,girl stuff,holiday,humor,Style,Uncategorized — peachyteachy @ 2:13 pm
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No, that’s not Kanye’s next baby name.

Easter fashion has always been an entity unto itself.

I recall a certain purple gingham maxi dress I wore one Easter when I was eight or so. Then there are those I-dare-you- to-wear-me deranged Easter bonnets. I hold that the purpose of these is to provide ample nesting materials for local bird life.

This year, I was struck by nothing so much as the pastel floral number worn by a lovely young lady whose parents I hope were far, far away.  Because this is the stuff of cardiac events.

Daughter in question chose to celebrate the resurrection of her personal lord and savior (or possibly the end of Passover? Larry Flynt’s birthday?) by sporting the always appropriate vagina-length stretch dress.

At what point, I mused while trying to come up with a sentence I could say out loud that did not contain the  term “vagina-length dress,” did she become comfortable wearing said hemline? Probably best that I never learn.  Though I am toying with a scenario where the girl is a rebelling Amish-ette, taking things just a bit too far…or not far enough.

I do feel that my experience could give rise to one of those helpful questions one might ask oneself while shopping, dressing, or contemplating cutting off part of a dress: “Will anyone look at me and think ‘vagina-length?'”

And, while you’re at it, say a prayer for my computer. It doesn’t know what the hell to wear.




7 Responses to “Northeastern Easter Fashion Report”

  1. I’ve never been to church but I’ve been to a few synagogues and find that the seating isn’t comfortable for any hemline much less a vag-length. Can’t imagine it. 🙂

  2. javaj240 Says:

    Thus far I have managed to keep Fangette away from the vagina length dress. She’ll be attending UVM in the Fall, a place where I would imagine the weather would deter young ladies from this particular hemline. 🙂

    And, yeah, my computer NEVER knows what to wear. So annoying!

  3. rossmurray1 Says:

    If we all keep writing “vagina-length,” you’re going to get a lot of vagina-length-interested people searching for “vagina-length” ending up on your blog. They’ll be disappointed. Vagina-length.

  4. peachyteachy Says:

    It is #14 on “how to get more traffic” list.

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