peachyteachy

For realsies

I Love Hand-Me-Downs! March 12, 2014

Filed under: cooking,food,humor,life — peachyteachy @ 10:03 am
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This is my “newer” slow cooker! Okay, it’s my slow cooker’s identical twin.  You’ll notice that it lacks a touchscreen—that just means that it will last for another thirty years, all the while retaining its ability to tenderize a side of beef, given enough unattended hours.

The best thing about this baby is that it was free.  My older slow cooker was a yellow/greenish gingham number without a removable crock. We’re talking Flintstones era.

Yes, I am blessed to have a Kitchen Stuff Benefactor—it’s my friend Shazam, who lives in another state, and whom I visit on an annual basis.  When Shazam gets a new small appliance or kitchen item, I am pretty sure that she pops it into a box with my name on it.  If there are any other names on the box, Shazam, I don’t want to know.  This item, which is working on some corned beef as I write, was from several years ago.  Last year, I scored Shazam’s “extra” popover pan—her dinner parties’ loss was my gain! I am in love with popovers.

I do stroll down the slow cooker aisle at Target once in awhile.  Those snappy chevron stripe models are so seductive.  But if I bought a new one, I would probably end up with it hidden under a gingham crock cozy when I’m eighty.  And I wouldn’t think of my friend Shazam whenever I cook slowly.  Our arrangement is so much better.

Of course, I have to balance this generosity with a fair amount of Salvation Army donation on my part.  That’s what summer is for.

 

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Peachy’s Inferno March 9, 2014

Filed under: cooking,food,humor — peachyteachy @ 3:39 pm
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Some folks prefer to check their smoke detectors the bland, spring-ahead-with- batteries way.

I, on the other hand, chose to get a bit more creative, and set the toaster on fire! I sacrificed some nice multi-grain bread to do it, too.

My son happened to stroll into the kitchen, noticed the bonfire behind glass and softly billowing cloud of smoke, and made a beeline past his former firefighter dad, upstairs to me, where he casually informed me that something was on fire in the toaster.

Fortunately, the fire did not get too worked up before dad pulled the slightly melting plug from the wall, declaring that we would be needing a new toaster.  This was long overdue, as this appliance offered all the convenience of sitting around a campfire cookin’ some toast, as one (obviously) needed to monitor that mother far beyond what should be required by an appliance with a timer involved. I don’t remember it ever really cooperating that well.  God knows that I never tried to pull off the six stuffed pepper trick  in there, which seems to be the stock ad photo when the toaster barons want to extol the virtues of their burny machines. Apparently, however, asking it to toast some bread was a request too full of hubris.

When I started looking into all of the old school toaster ovens, I was delighted to find that I paid exactly the same today that a happy homemaker would have paid back in the day for a versatile toaster oven: $29.95.

What I love about the YouTube spot is that the commenters are so earnestly in love with their original ovens.  Since I burned my last one (NOT an original, by a long shot), I will never know that passion for a life-long toaster friend.

One little disclaimer: I should not have called it a “fire,” nor referred to it as “setting my toaster on fire.” In polite Toaster-speak, that’s called “having a flare-up.”, which I thought had to do with herpes. I stand corrected, Black and Decker.

Also, our smoke detectors do not work.  Add to list.

 

The Cookie Business: A Young Writer is Born October 13, 2013

Filed under: cooking,humor,parenting,writing — peachyteachy @ 8:09 pm
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My son carries on the family tradition of writing weird stuff.

My son carries on the family tradition of writing weird stuff.

The Cookie Business. Chapter 1 B.O.A.t H history.
Building Our Army
It’s hard to recruit troops into armys, but we are the first cookie deticated army. We recruit children because they are (list) cheap, quick, and love cookies. We pay 40 free cookies and 5$ per child. Once we have 100 children we have a proper army. I already have 3,000 children because a war just broke out. War started because someone challenged cookies with lollipops. A teenager was who started the lollipop army.
Capter 2 UpGrading
We need weapons, they had hard hitting lollipop stick blasters, we had dough turrets; they also had lollibombs. We needed more than standard turrets so we had 11 year old kids (our smartest children) build new weapons. (LIST) Chocolate chip blaster, doughmerangs, and choco tanks. But they now own the air.

I promise to update as new chapters become available. Obviously, he follows a painstaking editing process.

 

Some “Burgers” Should Never Be Made October 3, 2013

 

 

This is one of them. 

My son ran across this page in one of my cookbooks.  I probably cooked these evil morsels and wrote this upwards of ten years ago.  These are the very notes I added on that fateful day.   I resented this recipe for a long, long time.  But perhaps this goes without saying. . . As you can see, I was a passionate cook, even then.  

The title, “Hell’s Kitchen” was, it seems clear to me, created due to the existence of this recipe. If, for any reason, you find yourself tempted to Google this recipe and try it, know that this temptation is arising from the bowels of the underworld, and that nothing pure and holy can result.  

DON’T DO IT!

Consider yourself forewarned.

 

 

 
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