peachyteachy

For realsies

When Someone From a Distant Chapter Disappears July 25, 2013

Filed under: inspiration,life,music — peachyteachy @ 7:32 pm
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Image source: http://img0.etsystatic.com/015/0/6620411/il_570xN.411083164_lvnb.jpg

I grew up in a small town, but moved away early, returning on an annual basis, to see family, friends, and to enjoy vacationing in a big lake paradise.  I have a few good friends there, but we reconnect only via Facebook and, if we are lucky, during my annual trek home. One close high school and college vintage  friend I saw two summers ago, for the first time since she crafted her first baby.   Babies are now getting married.  Time is freaking me out.  They accidentally sent an AARP card to my house instead of a proper birthday card.

I don’t know most of the news that goes on back home.

As a result of this dynamic, people have begun to disappear.

I used to hang out, when I was a college student home for the summer, with a cool young couple that included a teacher from my high school.  It was sad when they divorced.  She moved away; he stayed, remarried, and had a family.  I visited him last when we both had an adorable five-year-old.  Those sweet children just finished college.  My friend, their dad, apparently died suddenly a couple of years ago.  I stumbled on an article from our hometown newspaper that referred to the event—sadly, but sort of in passing, as it had already been some time.

That news hit like a punch in the gut.  Emotionally speaking, as I don’t get in many gut-punching situations, and I don’t aspire to.  Still, my attachment is strong, to the notion of having people of my generation walking around and available for future reunions.  I can go to that place, then, but never that face.

His ex-wife, too, slipped away.

I’ve walked through the loss of both of my parents less than five years ago, and within fifteen months of each other.  It’s different and empty in all kinds of ways that jump out in front of me when I least expect it.

I remember my grandmother when she became very old, and the sense I had that she had lost most of her contemporaries, close and not-so-close.  I suspect that she never got used to it, that brief moment of shock and pain when it is remembered that someone isn’t there anymore.

 

Ouch–The Pain of Leaving Second Grade June 16, 2012

Filed under: family,parenting,school — peachyteachy @ 10:48 pm
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Dang. It’s hard being an eight-year-old. Tonight there was heartbroken weeping when he asked how many more days of school and I told him that it was fewer than you can count on one hand.

Me: “Yessssss!!!”

Him: “NOOOOO!! I don’t want to leave second grade and Ms. J!!!!” Then, the weeping.

The grief is real and cannot be redirected with a cookie, the way that it could be in younger days. Please substitute strawberry for cookie if you lean toward paranoia about dysfunctional food/emotion relationships.

All I can do is bear witness–hold him and let him cry and tell him that it will be okay.  I ache for him long after he has fallen into deep sleep.  Ache for my dad, who passed away three summers ago, who can’t take my Father’s Day call.  The aches, apparently, all share a condo in the same neighborhood of my chest.

 

 
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