Something happened while I was out teaching America’s underprivileged youth.
I found out after I was forced to venture down to the basement at twelve the other night to find a fan. It was creepy, but not as creepy as trying to sleep in the stenchly mug. I was not about to attempt to install my room air conditioner at this delicate point in the night (one of my worst nightmares has to do with dropping an air conditioner out of the window, thus destroying my oakleaf hydrangea–and maybe damaging the house a little bit too-with a passing notion of a human being slammed by said unit). So I found the fan, dragged it upstairs, and plopped it on the floor next to my side of the bed.
The macabre discovery occurred the next day. You should know that our dog is a black mop of Springer/Poodle mix. They called her a “Springerdoodle,” but, really—there’s not much doodle going on, and quite a generous dose of spring, especially if she has never met you. In laymen’s terms, she’s a spazz. She weighs in at about 30 pounds. This is important, if only to assist in visualizing the dust bunny that I mistook for the dog. The damned fan apparently awakened the sleeping giant dust bunnies who had been dormant for weeks. Or possibly months, depending on the calendar you use. In cosmic or evolutionary terms, really, a mere blink of an eye.
This brings us to the amazing microfinancing opportunity that has landed here for you. Clearly, I could use some Merry Maids, or an equivalent outfit, to help me with this situation. But wait! It’s not because I am lazy and don’t want to do adequate cleaning! It’s all about the Cleaning Person Effect that I have heard about (never having experienced the magical spell of having someone else clean my house). If there is an appointment with a cleaning service, I will be forced to clean up to prepare for their arrival!! You suburbanites and aspiring hoarders can back me up here.
So simmer down and dig deep. If you have a service mentality (and God knows that you should), this is your chance to make a difference to me, to my family, to my students who are sick of my asking them to come over and wash my dishes, and to those who will benefit from an uplifting get together following the Peachy/Maid collaboration!
My humble thanks are yours in advance.