For realsies

My Little Pony: Life Lessons April 21, 2013

“I think you’ve taken your assertiveness training too far, Fluttershy! You can’t go around being mean to everypony!” The formerly too-nice Fluttershy had begun to terrorize somepony  in Equestria on a daily basis. Friendship is magic, after all, and so it was intervention time.

There’s a reason that My Little Pony is such a cult classic, like Plato and Aristotle.

Before now, I hadn’t considered the fact that this could be a factor for those meanies that come across my path in many forms:  they’ve just taken their assertiveness training too far! Clearly, assertiveness training is a free course, accompanied by free snacks, held in some church basement, or, possibly, basketball court in the neighborhood of our fun-loving elementary school.

In a fascinating turn, it would appear that another stratum of my little slice of human interactors has ALSO gone a little hog wild with the assertiveness training!  While the youngsters practice their pec-to-pec assertiveness bump (derived from years of study in the wild of the assertive mountain goat), the folks at the top of the food chain are correcting the errors in their too-nice ways, sporting their newfound skills of belittling and blaming those over whom they reign.  Nopony’s staging an intervention for these folks, though, which can be problematic if you’re an underling in the organization.  Note that the underlings have not been offered assertiveness training as quality professional development.  That would defeat the purpose of underlings.

Can’t we just all be Bronies and get along?


“My Little Pony” is a registered trademark of Hasbro, Inc., the same company that brings you G.I. Joe Retaliation Snake Eyes Ninja Chucks.


The Hottest Year Ever! January 1, 2013

Filed under: humor — peachyteachy @ 11:00 am
Tags: , , , ,

<b>Carly Rae Is Our New Cover Girl!</b>

Oh, Cosmopolitan, you copyrighted and registered trademark, you.  That’s the resolution you came up with?  Make 2013 the hottest year ever? I think that global warming beat you to it.

Good to know that this res is all covered, because some other interpretations of making 2013 the hottest year ever would likely not fly in the elementary classroom.  “Tomorrow, class, all of us Lay-deez will wear metallic leggings and platform boots! Boys, it would be SUPER HOT if you would bathe and use deodorant! This is going to be the hottest year EVER!!!” I might just get that extended leave I’ve been dreaming of!

What achievers read? That’s what Success magazine claims to be, which is about as inspiring a New Year’s motto as a big bowl of lentils–the good luck component of both, one might argue, is that you will be damned lucky to make it through without having a digestive event.

So, according to Success, if I am divorced, female, and live in the northeast, chances are I resolve to get fit, reduce my debt, further my education and achieve nirvana.  But don’t hold your breath on meeting the new and improved Peachy, since half (or 90%)of all resolvers (resolutionaries?) see no change whatsoever.  Useful info.  Besides, can you imagine how intimidating it would be to have to deal with someone who achieved all of these obnoxiously lofty goals? People would avoid me like the plague.  They would avoid me as if I were the plague.  The way that I avoid magazines like Success.

Spin-a-Resolution is sort of the idea behind this cool thing: the Resolution Generator. I like it, in part, because “Fly to the moon” is one of the choices.  If you are going to make an unachievable resolution (since all those achievers read Success magazine), it might as well involve space travel.

My son has suggested that I make a resolution that will take effect during summer vacation (after our moon shot).  Now, this lad is speaking my language.  His idea is that we should resolve to have ice cream sundaes on Sundays during summer vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, I resolve not to eat one lentil on January 1, 2013.

P.S. Thank you once again, all you Pinterest lovers who made my post “The Perfect My Little Pony Party” the second favorite of the year.


The Perfect My Little Pony Party May 21, 2012

I was over at the Bad Parenting blog, brushing up on my skills and comparing birthday parties–

I must say, however, that the supposedly sub-prime cooking party I read about was beyond my scope,  especially since I have two boys.  But it did remind me of one of the crowning glories of my history of birthday party attempts: the My Little Pony themed party that I threw last summer for my 20-year-old son.  I HIGHLY recommend waiting until such an advanced age to pull out the stops on themed centerpieces, etc., because that was one surprised geek being celebrated all in pink, a My Little Pony pastel action scene in all its splendor on the cake.

When  you wait until your kid is in college to buy the metallic spiral doodly-doos, no one has a meltdown or asks to take a pinata  home in order to soothe their wounded feelings.  College boys have very low expectations.  This fact is pure magic.  A great big pizza?  “Oh my God! Awesome! Thank  you!” Yes, one day, these will be your children.  Ice cream AND cake? “This is, like, really REALLY good.  Thank you!!” They all wear their stupid party hats and thoroughly appreciate the humor inherent in the wearing of a My Little Pony hat.

After the feast, everyone sits around and takes turns playing Lego Star Wars on the Wii with little seven-year-old brother.  After awhile, they drive themselves away to go see a movie.  It’s all so colorful and dreamlike.

People love to say, “(insert any age here) is such a great age!” Twenty. Twenty is a great age.



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