For realsies

Inspirational Quotes January 30, 2013

Filed under: education,humor,inspiration,life,teaching — peachyteachy @ 6:13 pm
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It is always inspirational to read heartfelt apologies written by students.  Here’s an example of how one student wiped the slate clean:

“Dear Mr. Gym,

I am sorry that I said to go suck one. I promise that I will not say it again.


Mr. Sincerity”

Note: “Go suck one” represents approximately 7.6% of the threats of physical harm that were verbalized toward Mr. Gym. But who’s counting?


Sometimes, it is difficult to respond to a student remark.  Case in point:

A sweet-looking six-year-old girl approaches my colleague, who is a lovely young woman in her twenties.

“My brother told me that you are a serial killer.”


Please feel free to create wall plaques of these quotes and display them on Pinterest.





The Hottest Year Ever! January 1, 2013

Filed under: humor — peachyteachy @ 11:00 am
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<b>Carly Rae Is Our New Cover Girl!</b>

Oh, Cosmopolitan, you copyrighted and registered trademark, you.  That’s the resolution you came up with?  Make 2013 the hottest year ever? I think that global warming beat you to it.

Good to know that this res is all covered, because some other interpretations of making 2013 the hottest year ever would likely not fly in the elementary classroom.  “Tomorrow, class, all of us Lay-deez will wear metallic leggings and platform boots! Boys, it would be SUPER HOT if you would bathe and use deodorant! This is going to be the hottest year EVER!!!” I might just get that extended leave I’ve been dreaming of!

What achievers read? That’s what Success magazine claims to be, which is about as inspiring a New Year’s motto as a big bowl of lentils–the good luck component of both, one might argue, is that you will be damned lucky to make it through without having a digestive event.

So, according to Success, if I am divorced, female, and live in the northeast, chances are I resolve to get fit, reduce my debt, further my education and achieve nirvana.  But don’t hold your breath on meeting the new and improved Peachy, since half (or 90%)of all resolvers (resolutionaries?) see no change whatsoever.  Useful info.  Besides, can you imagine how intimidating it would be to have to deal with someone who achieved all of these obnoxiously lofty goals? People would avoid me like the plague.  They would avoid me as if I were the plague.  The way that I avoid magazines like Success.

Spin-a-Resolution is sort of the idea behind this cool thing: the Resolution Generator. I like it, in part, because “Fly to the moon” is one of the choices.  If you are going to make an unachievable resolution (since all those achievers read Success magazine), it might as well involve space travel.

My son has suggested that I make a resolution that will take effect during summer vacation (after our moon shot).  Now, this lad is speaking my language.  His idea is that we should resolve to have ice cream sundaes on Sundays during summer vacation!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Also, I resolve not to eat one lentil on January 1, 2013.

P.S. Thank you once again, all you Pinterest lovers who made my post “The Perfect My Little Pony Party” the second favorite of the year.


Hairstyles That I Shall Not Rock July 28, 2012

I could spend a full forty hour workweek laboring to coax my hair to do any of what is going on in this shot.  And on Friday, it would revert back to its natural state (complete with price tag, as below):

This level of devotion to hair is actually quite commonplace among my students, strangely enough.  It is considered a medical necessity to take entire school days off in order to attend to one’s weave.   I am not even opposed to the concept of the “mental health day,” and perhaps I should chalk it up to that.  However, since the vast majority of my students are academically well below their actual grade level, it is a bit tougher to deal with a missed instructional day in the name of hair illness.  Especially since I end up sweeping up long clumps of fake hair from the classroom floor as the day approaches when my scholar shows up sporting her original, non-Diana Ross length hair.  I’m used to critters, though! See La Cucaracha en La Clase.

Which reminds me of Pinterest.  One of the recent strokes of genius disseminated to the masses involves a miraculous, DIY formula which promises to smooth the tresses of any doll whose hair has been compromised through excessive washing, playing,  or pet chewing.  So, theoretically, we could go from Messy Bun chick to Straight Red Hair model girl with minimal (and affordable) intervention.  Or, by the time the doll would finally resemble my childhood hairdo and make me feel at one with a popular toy, it would all end in sleek, flowing locks being restored by yet another miracle concoction that contains Dawn dishwashing liquid. The enemy of grease, and now, crazy hair. Oh, the cruel irony that it only works on fake hair!

Truthfully, I made peace with the curvy stuff that is my hair long before the flat iron came on the scene.  It is what it is.  Every several years, the unconstructed  messy hair thing becomes trendy for twelve minutes.  It’s exhausting, the paparazzi and all.


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