For realsies

I am breaking up with Staples August 26, 2012

Filed under: education,humor,school,teaching — peachyteachy @ 7:58 pm
Tags: , , ,

And by that, I do not intend to imply that I have stapled anyone’s anything to anything.

Staples. Up until this year, a teacher’s friend.  Especially if you teach poor kids.  You know how, in the ‘burbs, kids score about 70% higher on high stakes tests?  If you didn’t know, trust me.  The return on school supply lists is approximately the equivalent of the percentage of passing test scores.  That’s not a high return.  We understand that people are choosing, sometimes, between food and pencils.  Just write me a note and it’s cool.

The upshot of this reality is that I buy the notebooks, folders, pencils, and everything else that I NEED them to have, just to have a prayer of teaching (imagine saying daily, “Take out your Math notebook,” and having a quarter of the students say, “I don’t have one.” I can’t afford to have even less instructional time, really!).

Staples has crazy deals in the summer. “Extreme Deals,” they call them. You have to buy $5 worth of stuff to get the really good ones, but up until this year,  Staples allowed teachers to get up to 25 of the extreme deal items.

Fast forward to some horrible day this spring when Staples sent me an email about their exciting new program for teachers!!! Instead of having the extended limits on the Extreme Deals (notice how I capitalize them as if they were deities), we could purchase the remaining amount past the regular limit (usually 3-5) at full price, and we would have all of that amount credited to our Staples Rewards! Oh. My. Glob. You mean that I get to spend way more at Staples than I can ever afford or need?

Staples! The last time I checked, you didn’t sell wine!

The number of cars in our family=674 minus 673.

The number of incomes in our family=3459 divided by 3459.

I went to Teacher Appreciation Day at Staples and got my cute little tote and my FREE one subject notebook.  Teacher Depreciation Day came to mind. The manager was apologetic about having to “deliver the message” about the new policy.  I wasn’t abusive. I didn’t go into a Post-It flailing fit.  I handed over my $5.30 plus tax to purchase my three composition books and a new stapler.  Which I don’t need.

Customer support is 1-800-STAPLES


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