Our dog, Bob Marley (no relation to that heart-wrenching retriever that made someone a successful writer awhile back), used to enjoy chewing stuff. A lot. Isn’t that cute and unusual? No, I know. Settle down. The mildly interesting angle that I want to share with you here is how she had a preference for certain items. Yeah, Bob Marley is a girl dog.
Bob Marley did have a varied diet, and took to heart the nutritionists’ admonition to all of us that we should Eat a Rainbow Every Day! What a sunny reminder to help us back into Oz when we veer off into the brown-and-beige-based food groups, such as oatmeal chocolate chip cookies (transformed to healthier Rainbow Eating by the strategic addition of M & Ms), mashed potatoes, and the breads in all their glory. Bob Marley managed it by eating toys, especially Legos (always the coolest ones from the expensive kits, not the basic bricks) and action figures. Star Wars action figures. She could be surrounded by toys all over the floor, and she would be cheerfully chewing away on a Storm Trooper, not blinking an eye when you came in the room. Many tears were shed, you can be sure. The number one super fave, though, was the Clone Troopers–the ones from the animated series that we Star Wars purists poo-poo as illegitimate. Like Cheez Wiz, it should be written “Star Warz the Clone Warz.”
None of that pure Star Wars propaganda holds any sway with my son. “There’s too much conversation in the original Star Wars. There’s more action in the prequels and in the Clone Wars,” he blithely states, while my older son and I gouge our eyes out with Lego light sabers that have missed the Bob Marley scourge. Yeah, we have kept a lot of the damaged troopers, so the action figure collection in this house might not be suitable for younger viewers.
As a matter of fact, we came across one of the amputees this morning. Grisly. As you can see, both legs just clean gone. “Does this guy play as the wounded one?” I asked (see Ambling and Rambling’s Stupid Questions for more like this).
“Yeah, he’s Hospitality Man. Cuz he has to go to the hospital so much.”
Hospitality Man. Defiantly hospitable. Coming soon to a theater near you.