peachyteachy

For realsies

Why I Can Never Be a Waitress March 13, 2013

Filed under: bad dining,food,humor — peachyteachy @ 1:53 pm
Tags: , , ,

One of the reasons that I appreciate good waitstaff is the memory of how very much it sucked when I tried it.  In retrospect, I probably have a legit waitressing disability that may have qualified me for a special training program, right?

It was summer, and I was nineteen or twenty, when I took this god-forsaken part-time waitressing job at an outfit called “Smokehouse Sally’s.” You may have deduced that their specialty was barbecue.  This was before barbecue was all chic, and I don’t know that these folks had any particular barbecuing experience or ability, but what did I care?

Also, I never met this alleged Sally person.  More on that later.

The guy who hired and trained me was a dick.  I’m sure he blamed Sally.  He scheduled me for these short shifts about a week apart, a strategy taken directly from Chapter One of Moronic Strategies For Training Waitstaff.  My disability, or perhaps my standing as a human being, dictated that if I was shown 37 seemingly unrelated procedures on one day, then didn’t get a chance to practice until a week later, I forgot at least half of them.  I felt pretty confident about swirling salt and ice in the coffee carafes.

The customers were fine, unless you expected good tips.  When Dick let me go after three weeks and three shifts, I was only too  happy to check waitressing off my summer job list. No need to seek a restraining order to keep this chick out of the smokehouse!

It wasn’t long after that when I read a blurb in the paper that told of the demise of the Smokehouse Sally’s owners, due to some messy cocaine dealings.  I didn’t cheer, but I didn’t shed a tear, either.

I did take away my lifelong respect for the challenges faced by waitstaff, and my commitment to tip twenty percent unless there is a big reason not to.

My early experience may have, however, contributed to the irritation I feel when my students ask for ranch dressing when I hand out their daily free healthy snack.  And they make it abundantly clear that twenty percent of nothing is nothing.  That’s some high level math.

 

Image: hellogiggles.com

Advertisements
 

 
William Pearse | pinklightsabre

Writing is learning to see in the dark

Jabri'z Point of View

I might not be always right, but it's my point of view.

Christopher De Voss

Life, Humor, And Zombies

ThinMan's Blog

A geezer's ramblings

Coach Daddy

Fatherhood | Futbol | Food

Snapshots of Second Grade...and Shirley

Mrs. Tonnessen's Classroom Blog

Little Miss Perfect

Writer. Grammarian. Poster child for existential despair.

Miss Lou Acquiring Lore

Gallery of Life...

The Irrefutable Opinion

Assaults on the Casually Mundane by K. Jean King

Mister G Kids

A daily comic about real stuff little kids say in school. By Matt Gajdoš

The Blog of Funny Names

Celebrating Great People With Greater Names.

Lame Adventures

A Humor Blog

Grief and Starting Over

Fuck this I’m sad. I’m sick of trying to make fetch happen.

Hiking Photography

Beautiful photos of hiking and other outdoor adventures.

The Magical Slow Cooker

Slow Cooker Recipes

Essential Bygone Housewifery

A daily assemblage of the obsolete, the antiquated, and the curious practices of the erstwhile homemakers of a vanished era. Including lost secrets in the areas of Cooking, Baking, Personal Care, Remedies, Cleaning, Entertaining, Crafting, Decorating, and other miscellany of household management.

BunnyandPorkBelly

life is always sweeter and yummier through a lens. bunnyandporkbelly [at] gmail [dot] com

JessFindsVintage

For the Love of Vintage

Views from the Valley

Middle America musings

Bite Size Canada

Canadian trivia and history in bite size chunks!

The Tattooed Teacher

Adventures in Elementary School

The Great American Memoir!

Like, share, comment, follow, tweet, etc.

Glory Of Zig

I'll be the blog you're dreaming of

21stcenturyrenaissancegirl

Crayons, cookies, cards, and cat hair.

%d bloggers like this: