For realsies

Dr. Peachy, Medicine Woman–There Will Be Blood October 15, 2013

Filed under: humor,school,teaching — peachyteachy @ 8:42 pm
Tags: ,

I’ve determined that my cosmic chemistry (which happens to also be a popular elective at the University of Phoenix) has positioned me to attract the bleeding and infirm of our young learners.  Within five minutes of the arrival bell on any given day, you might peek into my room and think that I was wearing a velcro suit, by the looks of the three-to-five children who are attached to my sides and burrowing into the folds of my clothing.

A year and a half ago, when I embarked upon the blogging journey, I speculated that I might owe the school nurse a case of wine or six.   At this point,  I need to look into buying her a timeshare in Boca Raton.

“Ms. Peachy, my stomach hurts.”

“Okay, put your head down, let’s see how you’re doing at gym time.”

After gym, “My stomach still hurts.”

“Since you just performed ‘Flashdance,’ let’s sit down for more than eleven seconds and see how you feel.”

Three minutes later, “My stomach still hurts.”

“Honey, how about you write down exactly where your stomach hurts and when it started and what you ate today.”

“Ms. Peachy, I was looking in my desk for my pencil and I hit my head on the desk.  Can I sharpen my pencil? And my stomach still hurts.”

Child skips out of the building during fire drill.

Upon return, her stomach—well, you know.

Ten minutes before dismissal: “Ms. Peachy, my stomach still hurts.”

“You made it to the end of the day! Yaaay! Great job! Go get your things to go home!”

Don’t judge, people.  I am not insensitive. This is a daily script.  Oh, and don’t quote me the old teacher comeback, “Show me the blood.” My kids are happy to show me the damn blood, dripping down their legs, arms, eyelids.  And their compassionate classmates make sure to alert me of each and every bloody incident.  My own little Blood Alert Posse.

At least I am not Miley Cyrus’ TV stepmom once removed.



Big People/Small People September 21, 2013

Filed under: education,humor,teaching,Uncategorized — peachyteachy @ 7:14 am
Tags: , , ,

I have teleported to a land where people are shorter than me.  Also, they love my jewelry. I know of no better response than to curtsy in the middle of my higher level instruction.

Surprising similarities abound, however, between the youngsters and the older youngsters over whom I wardened previously.

  •  They share a passion for bathing in hand sanitizer.
  •  They want their hands on walls when they walk in the hall—this may have something to do with the hand sanitizer obsession.
  • They go through pencils a la woodchucks chucking wood

Charming stuff:

  • Sweet, darling girls declare their love in heart-encrusted notage on a daily basis. “I love you so so so so so much. Do you have a heart of love?”
  • “Miss Peachy! Miss Peachy! It’s almost Halloween! In the store, I saw bones (skeletons)! Not real ones!”
  • After lunch: “I’m soooooo tired. Can we watch a movie? What about a video?”

They do rival my older classes in the hypochondriac  department, however.  Clearly, I am poised for another banner year in my relationship with the school nurse.  Their necks hurt, their shoulders hurt, their eyes hurt, and lord knows their TUMMIES hurt!  I am filled with gratitude when I recall the day in history that gave rise to this post:  wheelchair . Also, this one: more wheelchairs in education.

Even the full moon wasn’t too bad.  Unless you count the fire drill.  During which half of my class migrated to the first grade line, and almost walked to the corner store.



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