peachyteachy

For realsies

Woodchuck Vigilante May 3, 2014

Filed under: gardening,humor,Uncategorized — peachyteachy @ 8:28 am
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I am reviving this little number in honor of the spirit of rebirth. I wrote it when I had approximately six readers, two of which were probably NRA members. I’ve shared it with a Weekend Funny Challenge
http://jenniferann1970.wordpress.com/weekend-funny-challenge/

peachyteachy

I am not a member of the National Rifle Association, and I have been known to make fun of hunting apparel and hunting accessories and hunting guys. However, I did reap the benefits of having a gun-toting neighbor not long ago.  He was my downstairs neighbor, Pete (of course not really), and he would, on occasion, ring my doorbell to share things like a freshly deadened turkey, or some newly acquired harpoon–just anything that he thought might brighten my day.  Since I knew that he was a gun collector, I thought it best to receive these visits with good cheer.

When I shared with Pete my frustration with some cheeky woodchucks who had taken to chowing down on my amazingly beautiful container gardens, I never imagined that he would avenge me so valiantly, but that is what happened.  He was so overcome with neighborliness that he just up and shot…

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Turkey Abuse OR Turkey: Food for Thought June 11, 2013

Filed under: food,humor,life,politics,Uncategorized — peachyteachy @ 4:59 pm
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I am sorry to report that my standing as a slightly leftward, politically aware activist has eroded. Badly.

“Stand up against abuses in Turkey,” reads the subject line of the email.

Now come on and tell me that your mind didn’t, for the tiniest split-second, picture a factory turkey farm, with a contingent of placard-bearing protesters outside the gate.  At the very least, you thought about the turkey sandwich awaiting the lunching hour. Or, more likely, you thought that the gentleman pictured above was asking his thronging flock (not a euphemism), “Who’s your daddy?”

It follows, then, I would argue, that I might become concerned about what horrifying plucking evils have been occurring at Turkey Town Farms.  I might even have clicked on over to the petition-signing link of this email.  That is when I realized that there were humans being abused by other humans of Turkish persuasion.  My bad. Guilt-signed the petition, which I guess means that I should not travel to Turkey anytime soon—at least not before the current regime is, a) toppled, or, b) inspired to mend its unsavory ways.

The moral of the story? Violation of human and animal rights impacts us all.  Read your junk mail carefully.  Maybe, just maybe, we can make a difference. One Turkey at a time.

image: http://www.mlive.com

 

Wheelchair is my middle name June 19, 2012

Filed under: education,humor,school — peachyteachy @ 4:29 pm
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It’s a trifecta! A turkey! A trilogy! With two schooldays left, I pulled out my third wheelchair incident of the year–this one a legit broken bone, most likely.  I do feel sorry for this kid, as he wasn’t wheeled out due to screwing around and avoiding following rules and such.  He was just playing on the playground.

Followers of this blog know that I am a winner when it comes to having kids taken out in wheelchairs.  But now I hold some kind of record. I might be able to retire on this. To a tar paper shack, probably, but hey, you have to start somewhere.

School Nurse Most Wanted List was actually the first post ever for Peachyteachy.  In it, we met one of my geriatric students who possesses powers of super recovery.  He has since continued to develop his other superpower—the ability to avoid completing schoolwork.  Apparently he is planning to hone his skills in the NBA after earning high school credits for sleeping and chewing gum.

Later, Wheelchair Event #2 came along, starring another of my dedicated young scholars.  The good news is, this young man has not lapped the school swearing at all humans in his path in quite some time!  This is one of the success stories of my school year, in all seriousness. You can keep your comments about the bar and its altitude to yourself.

If I don’t get some kind of medal for this, I figure that’s pretty much it for my career.  They aren’t giving out that many teacher accolades these days.

Actually, I did receive a stellar teacher accolade today, in the form of a sweet little fragrance gift set, along with a hand-written card from a truly wonderful student.  In it, she expressed regret for the “disrespectful things” that students do and  say.  Her appreciation for how much I want them to do the right thing so that they will be happier in the future.  Despite all of my snark, this is true.  For the vast majority of my students,  I will most likely never know whether any of it made a difference, the academics or the life lessons.  The year is ending.  I feel like I have been in a war zone.  We do what we can and we let it go.

 

 
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