For realsies

Clearly, I Have Been Wearing my Aprons All Wrong August 14, 2013

I am a fan of vintage ads, and of antiquated, chauvinistic sacred writing of yesteryear.  Isn’t everyone?


Therefore, I highly recommend that you check out the vintage illustration-packed article, “Ridiculously Bad Advice From the Nineteen Fifties,” from Glo, an online publication that is kind of stylish, and which has notified the free world that big hair is, once again, in.  Great news!

For the record, I do not wear aprons.


Now THIS is Corned Beef! March 17, 2013

1932 Libby’s Corned Beef Ad ~ Recipe File, Vintage Food Ads (Other).1932 Libby's Corned Beef Ad ~ Recipe File

As I prepared to embark on the corned beef and cabbage pilgrimage, I was pondering how very difficult it can be to make corned beef actually look appetizing.  Is it any wonder that the above version hides out inside a can until the cash has been exchanged?

Settle down; I am not serving canned corned beef—just because I like Jell-O doesn’t make me that scary and misguided.  However, I am considering departing from the unfortunately named “Boiled Dinner,” and opting to make some nice crispy roasted potatoes, rather than sending them to bathe with cabbage.  If St. Patrick is that offended by a little olive oil, I don’t know how he could have affiliated himself with the Vatican.

Just in case you haven’t bothered (lazy reader syndrome) or can’t (NEEDS readers syndrome) read the copy on the ad, I have to quote some of my favorite portions:

“Everybody’s happy when the mastermind that plans the menus remembers Libby’s Corned Beef!

The family rejoices! Families have a way of being pleasingly outspoken in their approval of this mild corned beef—mild, yet rich-flavored.

She rejoices—the mastermind, that is.  Nothing to do but chill the can in the ice-box, then slice the firm, tender meat.”

Moo0-hooo-ha-haa! The menu mastermind strikes again! Cabbage, schmabbage! We’re having peach halves with maraschino cherries as our side dish! Excuse me while I go and slice that firm, tender meat.


Throwing a Party, Gelatin Style July 1, 2012

Filed under: bad dining,food,humor — peachyteachy @ 7:59 pm
Tags: , , ,

Jell-O is a trademark. Obviously.

I am not throwing a party, at least not the kind that involves people coming over, setting up a s’mores buffet, and playing miniature badminton on our miniature badminton court.  But I did make Jell-O, which is a party in itself; am I right? This partified vibe becomes intensified when one makes GREEN Jell-O (sometimes referred to, loosely, as “Lime”).  I would argue that it is cooler to see the world through a serving of green Jell-O than through rose-colored glasses.

Where does Ms. Peachy come by this abiding passion for Jell-O and its entertaining properties, you ask?  You may be surprised to learn that it has nothing to do with the famed party-starter, the Jell-O shot— although I have perused scores of variations on the theme whilst procrastinating doing some other distasteful,  occupation-oriented task.

I like vintage advertising (not Jell-O shots— yeah, it’s a crazy party life I lead).  One of my faves is a thirties era Jell-O recipe book entitled “The Jell-O Girl Gives a Party.” They apparently used to give parties, back before life got so harsh and we started throwing things all the time.  Either way, this little manifesto of Jell-O was ostensibly written by the Jell-O girl herself, so you can understand why I was compelled to buy it.   There are some recipes in here that will put hair on  your chest, not the least of which is the Prune Whip, which utilizes my least favorite Jell-O flavor, orange. Oh, and, um, prune pulp. The garnish? Think hard; what goes well with prune pulp and orange Jell-O? Prunes, with a half walnut inserted in each one!  I don’t know about you, but I’m not really interested in inserting any nut into any conceivable prune.

An excerpt for your reading enjoyment:

“We worked very hard and fixed the table all up just wonderful.  I wanted to buy the flowers in the shop, but my ‘lowance wasn’t enough, so my mother said I could make it a pussy willow party, with pussy willows, that I could pick myself, in the center of the table, and daffodils from our garden, and a yellow and white cloth.

And we did.  Daddy bought pussy pups for favors.  That was the ‘sprise—You don’t know whether they’re cats or dogs, but they’re very, very lucky.” The Jell-O Girl Gives a Party p. 7.

And they never elaborate any further on those favors (‘sprise!), which are probably going to drastically increase the traffic on this blog.  The appendices include a Pinterest-ish illustrated piece called “Jell-O Girl tells how to do the daily exercises.” These are moves that really could be mastered by any 90-year-old, so it’s pretty inspirational.

My point? Make some! Unless you’re vegan, in which case you don’t like that pesky hoof component. . .


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